Your Honour

Here’s some funny court transcripts that really happened. LOL I get a kick out of these.

Judge: have you told your wife about this?
O’Brien: No, sir.
Judge: Well, I will fine you $25 and I will suspend the fine providing you tell your wife about it. Will you do it?
O’Brien: Well, I guess, Judge, you had better let the fine stand. You don’t know my wife.

Lawyer: “Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?”
Witness: “No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.”

Lawyer: “Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
Witness: “No. This is how I dress when I go to work.”

Lawyer: “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?”

Lawyer: “Could you see him from where you were standing?”
Witness: “I could see his head.”
Lawyer: “And where was his head?”
Witness: “Just above his shoulders.”

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.