I don’t know who comes into these homepages anymore but I do make an effort to make an update one or twice a year. LOL. As of today there’s hasn’t been any snow yet and I haven’t had to pull out my winter coat just yet. Hmmm…. What have I been up to? I joined a city volleyball league team and pulled a calf muscle on our first game that put me out of commission for 3 weeks….. uh… did a little bit of travelling….. and my boy’s hockey season started and they’re undefeated so far. Have a great day!
Written by: Roderick Fiddler, Danny Linklater, Mary-Ellen Matthews, Stephanie Charity, Tanya Spence, Bradley Fiddler, Albert Meekis, Wray Hunter Linklater, Leslie Meekis, Willow Blasizzo, David B. Fiddler, KD Livingstone, Nora J Meekis, Lorraine Mamakeesic, Charles Meekis, Cherish Kakegamic, Marc Meekis, Stacey Fiddler, Lanny Linklater, and Melodie Manoakeesic
THE STORY BEGINS
It was a Monday morning at work and I had already started the week off on a bad foot, arriving late as my imaginary tricycle had a flat tire.
So I slapped on my training wheels but then I noticed my streamers were tangled and I drove into the ditch. The same time, one side of the training wheel fell off and now I’m lying in the ditch thinking.
It’s been 2 hours later and I’m still laying in the ditch thinking, thinking if I should ever get up and go to work again ‘cause then I died. THE END. Sorry, I’m not good at this. So I figured when I was resuscitated from the ambulance, I’m not good at this because I wanted attention from the people that drove by. But instead they said “ateh kasheen jeen, kasheen jeen”.
And all of a sudden when I opened my eyes I jumped and yelled “Where’s my tricycle, is it okay?” Ahahahahaha, I laughed hysterically, running around with my broken tricycle wheel still flat, “Where’s my nuts?!”
So I just put the tricycle back together as best I could and began to ride with the tire still flat and bent up. I quickly discovered that the tricycle with a flat tire wasn’t even a tricycle – it was my poor three-legged dog!
Then I’m thinking, “Hey, where the heck did you come from? I thought you got runned over!” If you got runned over and I wiped out, where are we?!! And why are you a three-legged dog with a limp? Then again, I laugh hysterically to myself…interesting. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Almost manic because my name is Espit, I miss my tricycle.
In a distance I seen Cuzzin waving and yelling. The beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad, so I had one more for dessert. Then staggered back into the office with hot bologna, eggs and gravy. My boss was like, “What the hell happened to you? Is that hot steak for me?” And I feasted, still wondering about my imaginary tricycle.
Someone yelled and said, “There is goes! Max is taking off with it!! Call the police and say he stole my three-legged dog”. But with my sorry ass three-legged dog, well, the bologna was good. Wow! What an imaginary tricycle ride that was sitting in my office. Whatta ride!!! And there it was…gone.
Yeah, and it was that imaginary three-legged dog. Now scared, I sit in my office thinking that was a heck of a day! I wonder what my vacation will be like. I hope I can take a nice trip to Wabigoon. I’m thinking, I’m thinking, I’m thinking, I’m thinking!! Better not come to work half cut anymore. Or better yet when I turn Chief next week, I’ll make sure everyone on Monday mornings will know I am probably half cut.
And I drive myself crazy with my imaginary tricycle and three-legged dog who got runned over. But then again, I ended curling up in the corner of my room, suckling my thumbs whimpering, “Mommy…mommy…” All of a sudden the phone rings and it was just a dream. Whoosh…comes a hand right to my face, I didn’t know what I was dreaming. Then there it was again…GONE.
I still think of that day often. It was too real to be just a dream. I really wanted that tricycle to be real because it was the never ending story. Until someone had gone and rummage saled my tricycle. Now it is lost forever!!
So it has begun… And then my mother calls and says, “I bought something for you from the rummage sale.” There it was – my imaginary tricycle…and my three-legged dog. And he lived happily ever after with his tricycle and three-legged dog. THE END!
And so we learn…on Monday morning when we start seeing the imaginary tricycle, it’s probably better to just stay home!
Transcribed by Willow
Here’s some funny court transcripts that really happened. LOL I get a kick out of these.
Judge: have you told your wife about this?
O’Brien: No, sir.
Judge: Well, I will fine you $25 and I will suspend the fine providing you tell your wife about it. Will you do it?
O’Brien: Well, I guess, Judge, you had better let the fine stand. You don’t know my wife.
Lawyer: “Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?”
Witness: “No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.”
Lawyer: “Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?”
Witness: “No. This is how I dress when I go to work.”
Lawyer: “Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?”
Lawyer: “Could you see him from where you were standing?”
Witness: “I could see his head.”
Lawyer: “And where was his head?”
Witness: “Just above his shoulders.”
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Just giving it a whirl here. So I hear a new powdered alcohol has been created in the United States, it’s done, but it has not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration yet because the public is still opposing it. It’s only a matter of time before it’s pushed through and becomes available on the market. Of course Canada will initially also ban it from being imported into our country and as usual it’s only a matter of time. Export/importing means economic opportunities, money talks.
The premise behind why it was created was because of a hiker who wished that they could carry a powder on a long hiking… camping trip, so they can enjoy a nice cocktail at camp. We can all imagine various scenarios on how it can be used in the wrong way. The powder would be available in the liquor store and will be taxed and regulated no different than any other alcoholic product.
Kick and scream all you want but it’s coming. LOL jk